Autumn marks the transition from summer to winter. The leaves change from a bright green to vibrant oranges, yellows, reds, and browns. Smells of apple cinnamon spice waft through the air. A crisp breeze tickles your bare arms reminding you that the harsh heat of the summer is over and cooler weather is on the way.
Last night the air smelled of autumn. I took a deep breath and knew that this seasonal change was not just in the weather, but in my life. I felt my worries melt away and a sense of peace take over. I remembered what I vowed to do last year at this time: to live. I vowed to take in each moment as I did when I traveled throughout England. And I was doing well, that is until the summer heat set in and moving arrangements were made.
Since June, the start of summer, there has been a brick of anxiety sitting upon my chest, making it difficult to breathe at times. At first it was the question of where I’d live then the question changed from where to how. How would I manage all on my own? How would I deal with the emotions of leaving my mom for the first time in 34 years? How would I begin to make a life for myself on my own?
The answer was: start small. Baby steps.
So I did. Slowly I unpacked; each box emptied representing a tiny piece of that brick lifting from my chest. A couch was delivered. Pictures were hung. Floors swept and mopped. A house slowly turned into a home.
This morning, I sit in my home, I hear the sounds of the leaves rustling in the trees right outside my open door. The breeze cools the air inside as well as out. It is autumn and this girl loves it.