I awoke early this morning in a bit of a start, 4am to be exact. I blame the stress of buying a home along with being stood up by a guy I didn’t even want to date for my early start. Luckily I am on summer vacation and can take a nap later should I feel so inclined. Aside from a trip to the groomers for my dog, Bagel, and a tutoring session later in the day, I have nothing planned.
With this knowledge, I did try to go back to sleep but to no avail. As I tossed back and forth, trying to get comfortable, I thought about my life-something I am sure most of you do at 4:30am when you can’t sleep. I began thinking about England, as I often do, and how I wished so much that I was there this summer.
My summer plans do not include traveling because my plans this summer are all about buying a house. Now, I am sure after I find the house there will be multiple pictures to take and a ton of material to write about but for now, there’s nothing. I have put in a few offers only to be frustrated by them not working out for one reason or another. I know that there is a purpose to all of this but it does not relieve the stress I currently feel about the unknown. I am a planner and not knowing where I am going to live in the next few months is weighing on me a bit. I am trying to relax and have faith but at 5am, my mind has other plans.
While traveling is not in my summer future, neither do my summer plans seem to include dating because, as I mentioned before, I was stood up. What is most disconcerting is that I was stood up by a guy I was not even all that interested in. I’d like to believe that something “suddenly came up” and our date just simply slipped his mind, but if I am being completely honest, I think it was from my apparent lack of interest in him that he just “forgot to call” to confirm our date.
So back to my tossing and turning session; It was during this that I was reminded of the piece I am writing for a magazine contest. I have entered this contest once before and did not win. My heart was not in that piece, though so I can’t blame them for not publishing it. This piece is very different because it is about the bravest thing I have ever done. Can you guess what the subject of this piece is, those loyal readers of my blog? If you guessed my trip to England, then you are spot on.
I’ve realized that the writing I do about England is probably my best. It is the subject of the book I am working hard at finishing. It is the subject of my most “liked” blog posts. It is the subject of my life, pretty much. I always find a way to come back to it and I believe it is because England has become my happy place.
When I was a kid, we had this relaxation expert come in to our school and teach us how to, you guessed it, relax. She played soft music as she told us to lay down and think of a happy place. I imagined a garden with flowers, a cool breeze, and birds chirping. Little did I know that my happy place was a preclude to what my actual happy place would be: my flat in England. It is such a comfort to know that I can conjure up that image and all is well in the world. I won’t go into any more depth on that subject as that was the subject of my last blog post.
It comes as no surprise that writing about England would fill me with the relaxation I would need to fall back to sleep. Maybe you will have a chance to read this finished product, published on those glossy magazine pages. I can only hope. So, it is with those hopeful words that I leave you. I think I can sleep now. Too bad it is already 6am…